Why I Read Reader's Digest

I suffer from a serious affliction which society harshly stigmatizes as ‘shoplifting.” If you have to have an affliction shoplifting is better than oral herpes because you can hide it and you’re better off in this world if you have something that can be hidden ( just ask Richard Nixon or Bill Clinton ). I have always had attendant symptoms of guilt with it which I have recently tried to alleviate by reading a book I found on the‘Spirituality of Human Imperfections’ and using affirmations. This initially offered some relief but I eventually developed a tolerance to the affirmations and had to increase the strength of the message to things like ‘God loves shoplifters most’ and then because I wanted more non-judgmental love I increased my shoplifting which resulted in an increased frequency and intensity of guilt. I realized it was time to try tough love on myself so then I resolved that everytime I shoplifted I would call the owner personally and apologize. Well, I will not even repeat some of the rude responses I got which only aggravated my already low self-esteem. At this point I felt at a loss for what to do and then I found myself browsing through the magazine section at Safeway when I saw a Readers Digest with the lead article emblazoned on its cover- “Stop Feeling So Guilty.” It’s amazing how God always leads you to what you need. No one was looking so I slipped it into my pocket and took it home. It was a wonderful article and has made a major change in my ability to live with my condition without crippling guilt while at the same time reminding me about the importance of not giving up. I understand now why the Readers Digest is the world’s largest selling magazine, it’s very helpful.